Speaking Up: Why I Hate Disclaimers and Why You Should Speak Your Mind

You know what has shot to the top of the 'Grinds my gears' list as a content creator? Disclaimers 😭

I hate disclaimers. I don't want to have to preface every single thing I say with a list of caveats and exceptions. Yet, I feel compelled to use them in some kind of way every time I show up online. Today, it's likely that we all fling in a quick disclaimer because no one is trying to f*ck around and find out what the helm of cancel culture feels like. 

I'm a Black woman, and I know that my words can be used against me in a way that white people's words can't. I'm constantly aware of the fact that whether I like it or not, I can't just speak for me and in wider society I'm representing an entire race, and I don't want to say anything that could be misconstrued or misinterpreted. 

I think, to most people, I'm headstrong and can quite easily; say what's on my mind. Whilst, that might appear to be true, deep down I am honestly someone that has always very carefully picked my words. A couple of weeks ago, I sat at my computer and I asked myself, why do I always hesitate to express myself verbally?

I arrived at the conclusion that part of it is because I want to be liked and accepted and the other part is not wanting to hurt those I love, because little girl Rose still believes that all the unkind words she heard were accidental and not intentional. Lol, let's side step that last part and save it for when I can afford therapy yea? The meat of the issue is that, a near constant fear of saying the wrong thing spread to all areas of my life, so in many ways, I stopped speaking up all together.

Thankfully, Kwame is extremely persistent in encouraging me to open my mouth and say what's on my mind. The blessing is those that genuinely love me are not fickle, and so even if I happen to unintentionally hurt them; They know my heart, so door is open to understanding, forgiveness and reconciliation.

Outside of the relationship front, the reason why I feel it's so important for me to understand why I have difficulty in speaking freely, is I want to push past my fear of asking for what I want and need. Whether that's me speaking to loved ones, at my job, even when praying to Source. When I look at my life and the things I have had to stretch my faith for, I am very aware that for every single thing, I had to boldly open up my mouth to get them. 

So let's think about this, I'm here doing up humble, humble - quaking like a quaking somebody, doing the mental equivalent of dropping a few likes on the universe's TL and hoping that's enough and they should just knowww that's what I want. Laugh at me as if you don't do it too! 👀

Not speaking up is a very useless trade off, when the losers prize is seeing the life you want, relationships you want, career advancement you want and joy that you want pass you by. 

Abeg, speak up, not just for you today, but for you tomorrow.

xoxo