Finding my feet again - Authenticity in the land of Picture Perfection

It's been a few months since I've posted anything here, I've been finding my feet.

Talking therapy and spiritual counselling have been at the forefront on a personal level, whilst health, moving house and career changes have been taking all of my time and attention on a wider scale. 

I have stopped a few times to ask what I can do to get 'back into the swing of things' with blogging, but everything I've tried to conjure up has felt far too rigid and based on what the gram says is popping, so I've stayed schtum. 

Now that my life seems to be finding the beat again, I've again looked at how and where I want this blog to look like and be for me and it's readers. I've always said that my goal in life is to inspire and motivate black women to succeed (on their own terms!) although some of what I've written earlier this year has been able to resonate with some and encourage others, it still hasn't felt authentic enough, reading it back it's almost like hearing it in my 'work voice.'

Don't get me wrong I'm proud of what I have achieved so far, remember done will forever be better than perfect, nonetheless, I see how I can improve and I must to so if this blog is going to align with the goals i set for myself (and for you)

I'm expert level good at loving people from a distance, whilst making it look like I'm hugging them up close, I don't want to do that anymore, it's cold as fuck. I'm putting myself out there to actually see what it feels like to embrace the world around me. So in terms of what you see written here, it means I'm bringing y'all in close.

So...I don't know how frequent this schedule will be, I've not long moved house and so it feels like I'm forever driving upandan buying things to turn this house into a homey. Bowë's re-launch, although quiet on social media, is coming along great! I keep trying to get everything perfect and getting lost in the detail. 

Please believe I spent the best part of 3 months looking for the perfect packaging - like everything else, it doesn't exist and I have to keep telling myself "Start where you are!" as to not get lost in minor details. I think getting lost in the minor details is a comfortable place for me, I can trick myself into thinking I'm doing something when God is looking at me like "Er hellurrrrrrrrrrr, we got things to do, but the magnifying glass down. Tenk yew plis."

Anyhow, we move.

Rose

xx

There's more than one brand of sliced bread - Starting a business

I've had a shit-ton of business ideas over the years. I've opened and closed several business over the years and I'm no longer ashamed to talk about them, better to have tried a failed than to die always wondering what if?

My true baby of the bunch was Bowë Skincare, I started Bowë back in 2011 before I even knew what her name was. I remember, in the beginning,  I spent about £1200 on raw ingredients and equipment...took over my mum's kitchen (in the evenings) and created every type of body cream, butter, scrub that I could imagine.

I started with our beloved Shea butter because that's what I grew up with. Bumped your leg? Shea butter on the bruise. Split your lip? Shea butter will heal it. Hair breaking? Nkuto! (Shea butter in Twi) And two years later, I had Korperbutter. Made with 10 different butters and oils. The best part? People fell in love with it, just like I had!

So what the hell happened Rose? My lack of confidence happened. *face palm emoji* Around 2013/2014 some laws changed that made it hard for small, independent cosmetic companies to certify their products as safe, a thinly veiled attempt at pushing said independent businesses out of the market. Instead of pushing back, I folded. Got caught up in planning my wedding, moved out of London, had a baby and here I am today.

I held onto the ingredients and equipment long past their expiration dates till the end of last year. I wept when I finally got rid. Then during a dinner with some good friends, they asked me what I couldn't ask myself: Why didn't you start over? I gave so many excuses; there are Shea butter brands and skincare lines everywhere now. No one needs Bowë Skincare anymore. I can't afford to. And so on and so on.

Eventually it was a meme and my husband that pushed me over the edge. The meme compared starting a business to the different varieties of bread. Everyone has their favourites, that's why there isn't only one type in the supermarket. Some like thin sliced, some like their loaves unsliced. Some want seeds, some want fruit, some want honey. Others want baguettes and others still want baps. There is room for everyone.

My husband dug into his pocket and said whatever I needed he had me covered, made the first injection of capital to get what I needed to start the cogs turning and he's still injecting.

It feels incredible to be back doing what I love and I think how I feel about it matters hugely. Of course I want Bowë to be successful, but it's a labour of love, when I'm tired and need to spend time tinkering with the fragrance profile in the early hours, it's love. When I've gone through countless jars to get the perfect container and I'm still scouring the world wide web, it's love. When I'm going back and forth with safety assessors about my formulation, it's love.

I don't have a 7 step plan to being a millionaire to share with you. If I did, I'd be a billionaire by now haha! What I can tell you is that whatever you do, it needs to be in love.

• Having fun tinkering with fragrances! 

Rose
Xx

Who Am I Again? - Mother's Day

In June 2016, I wrote one of my most popular blog posts to date. I talked about finally accepting myself for who I was and loving it. I ended it with a question of sorts; I knew that at some point I would want to become a mother, but I was terrified of having to give up who I had become to be 'Mother.'

Nearly three years later, I read that post again and smile...I remember the anxiety, the questions I had that were impossible for anyone to answer. I look back on that Rose with fondness and wish I could have quelled her fears and reassured her that Rose 2.0 is just as, if not even more amazing than the original.

My biggest concern was with this idea of 'losing myself' to motherhood. It had taken so long to find her, that the concept of running back into the labyrinth of self discovery with my eyes closed made not one lick of sense. Pretty much everyone is resistant to change, and the change from 'me' to 'mum' is one where you're forced to get out of the driver's seat and give it to a person that can't even carry the weight of their own head....Jesus is Lord! Lmao!

I sit down on the sofa as I'm writing this, my little guy is teething, so the grumpy attitude and clingy nature is in full swing, and yet I relish it. His little arm squeezed tight around my neck is the purest, sweetest joy I know. His eyes are fluttering, I assume he's dreaming. I stroke his soft brown curls, perfect eyebrows and rub his back. So small, yet teaching me so much.

As people, we don't like change, we take comfort in the familiar, knowing what's coming. So you can understand why I was so afraid to try. I'm sure its not news to you to hear that motherhood is hard and many times quite challenging. It's also like the ripest mango you could have the pleasure of eating, you could try to describe why that mango is so delicious, but you can't, so you swim in your own pool of deliciousness oblivious to what's going on around you.

That's what motherhood has felt like to me so far. So wrapped up in the joy of seeing my stomach swell, my emotions fly all over the place, this precious person on the other side, change and grow and morph into his own. I've been on my own carousel enjoying the ride, refusing to get of, but pleading "Again, again, again!" Not wanting to accept that it's time for me to integrate the two Rose's I have come to know.

What I failed to notice was that the carousel was really a potter's wheel, I needed to be moulded into something new just as much as he needed out after 40 odd weeks. I am now so much stronger than I was before, every leap in growth for him is one for me too...he learnt to crawl, I learnt how to listen to my instinct. He learnt to stand, I learnt to believe in my gifts. He started walking and I understood why confidence comes from within and not externally. He knows when he needs to hold a hand out for help, I learnt having a therapist was a sign strength not weakness.

I fought so hard to establish and hold onto a constant state of self that I was proud of. Familiar, comforting, resistant to change.

So who am I again?

I am still her, but so much more.

Thank you motherhood,

Rose
Xx

Not everyday beef, some days Kumbayah init!

• 
  

With the social climate we live in, it's very easy to get caught up and become angry and frustrated all day, every day. It's happened to me over the last couple of weeks and though I do not blame myself at all for the events that have caused me to feel this way, I recognise that it's a conscious effort that I have to make to shut myself off from the constant barrage of negativity.

It's a saying I used to have for my niece. As sweet little babies do, they ball up their fists unless they are asleep, super relaxed or belly full! Outside of this fist were balled up ready to throw hands, so I used to tell her "Not everyday beef, some days Kumbayah" as banter.

I have been repeating this same mantra to myself a lot recently because I've become so angry all of the time. I believe I have every right to feel that way, but it runs over into the times that I should be sleeping, relaxed and belly full...

I could say switch off your phone, don't watch the news, etc. But this is me we're talking about, let's be realistic. I think it's more realistic for me to again look inward and focus my attention on the positive aspects within my own life, because gratitude can quickly shift that anger out of the room.

It was recently the 62nd anniversary of Ghana's independence and it would have been very easy to get into talking about the reasons why Ghana and other African countries aren't where they should be, I decided to put a pause on that and just join in the celebrations the best way I could and relish the display's of Ghanaian pride around the world.

No matter your walk of life, it's important to be able to turn away from the uphill battle for perspective. Turn around look how far you've come. A few steps up a hill gives a far greater view than at ground level. And also it is a good thing to pause, lay a blanket, have a sandwich and enjoy yourself.

Rose
Xx

Where has the day gone? Managing my time better

As a mum, a wife, an employee and an entrepreneur you can imagine, I'm always trying to manage my time better. Prior to the mum part I wasn't very good at it. I was good enough at keeping things a float, but that was more of a continuous fluke than an actual skill. My husband can reel off story after story of me being late for work when I lived in London for the most foolish of reasons *face palm*

With all the balls I'm juggling, I'm trying to add back in blogger and YouTuber, so it's imperative for me to make a conscious effort to stop winging it and get better at time management. I'm very good at being busy, I need to be excellent at being productive.

Bear in mind time management and organisation are not the same thing. I am a pen and paper planner girl, even though i've gone digital for some things (mainly being able to share lists with my husband a.k.a honey-do lists), few things bring me more joy than writing out all that needs to be accomplished in a certain time frame and planning out when they need to be done, and in which order. I could give you a critical path analysis on how to clean my house, so organisation isn't my issue. My issue is with the verb part of the equation. I'm sure i'm not alone in being lulled into the false sense of security busyness brings, you start doing something, you don't finish, and you tell yourself that you didn't finish because you were so busy. Just me? Well shoot, at least i'm being honest *eyes emoji*

I've now realised that a key element of time management is focus. I could curate the world's most awesome to-do list and glaze over it with pride, but ain't shit getting done if I'm not able to focus my attention on each task, one at a time and move through them methodically. I've read countless articles, think pieces and blog posts that suggest, putting all the easy, not-so-important tasks first to give yourself a boost that you're achieving something. I'm going to go out on a limb and say IT DOESN'T WORK. If my overall goal is to write three blog posts by the end of tomorrow, making up three tasks and checking them off; say changing the bedsheets, putting the laundry in the machine, and getting the car washed, though they are things i've done - DO ZILTCH for me writing my blog posts. I'll feel a whole lot more satisfaction and achievement when I sit my ass down somewhere, block everyone out and focus on getting those posts written.

Actually there is one trick that I utilise and it does work; put the task you're dreading at the top of your to do list and do it first, before 10am. When I put that tip into practise i feel amazing, and that amazing productive feeling carries on throughout the day and I get even more done than I bargained for! This is what works for me, and I learnt it from someone else, so i'm always open to learning more. What productivity tips help you to manage your time better?

Rose
Xx

F**k Groupthink - What do you think?

Groupthink according to Wikipedia: “The practice of thinking or making decisions as a group, resulting in typically poor-quality decision making.”

A few weeks ago I wrote about being decisive, following your intuition and owning the choices you make. I’ve felt the pull to expand on this topic following what i’ve seen on the likes of twitter and Instagram following the Kardashian Vs Smiths showdown and Jussie Smollett case. It’s scary how easily we are swayed by what’s happening in popular culture, everyone has a particular opinion and because of FOMO, everyone jumps on it.

We consume news these days like people buy fast fashion, I worry about how people my age and younger that grew up with the rise of social media are able to stand on their own and form opinions of their own, even when it goes against the grain.

According to Irving Janis who has been credited with coining the term back in the 70's, he originally saw it as a problem within organisations. Now as the world has gotten smaller via globalisation, I see it as far more widespread. Even down to discussions on popular culture.

I've been guilty of it myself, afraid to put out my difference of opinion for fear of getting dragged online. It seems these days we gather more and more of our "facts" as quickly as possible via blog sites and social media pages like The Shade Room and Hollywood Unlocked. But that's a dangerous precedent to set, with the likes of Brexit looming, and seeing the consequences of hasty decisions, I really feel that we need to evaluate the power of our individual voices, especially those of us that have influence over the younger generation.

These are just my musings, I'm still working through solutions, but I hope I've given you something to THINK about.

Rose
Xx

Slow and steady wins the race! - Commitment

When I have an amazing idea that's going to change the world, or at least the corner of the world I see, I'm so full of excitement I can barely sit down. An old mentor of mine called it "Ignorance on fire!" That's exactly what it is, that adrenaline rush when the inspiration is flowing and your thoughts are running faster than your hands can write or type. When the vision is so bright in your mind's eye, you can almost feel it, it's so clear. That feeling hangs around for a few days, maybe even weeks - and then it fades, and your left with it's memory. 

That's when the work begins. Commitment is doing what you said you will do even after the feeling you said it in has passed. It's what takes the big, glittering vision from your mind to reality in the midst of A LOT of harsh and often mundane reality. What I've learnt looking back on my "ignorance on fire" phases is that what will get me to where I want to go is consistency. 

Consistency is what fuels commitment.

I know, I know, consistency and commitment gets boring, people stop watching, you stop getting the instant gratification of things moving quickly. Even so, bit by bit, when you look back over your shoulder you'll see you've come a long way and what seemed so tough to stick to in the beginning is now second nature.

It's not my first time blogging, not my second, not even my third, but after the excitement of choosing a website layout theme faded and I had flicked through all my professional photos - I got bored. Then 6 months after I quit, i'd get jealous of those that had kept putting one foot in front of the other. Imaaaaaaaagine!

I'm good at talking the talk, a lot of us are, just open Instagram and Twitter, but I'm now wearing my walking shoes to walk the walk. 

I can feel the mundane setting in, in the past I thought I was bored, it's not boredom, it's consistency, it's commitment and I welcome it. How about you?

Rose
Xx

Black

I'm tired, I am tired, I am absolutely fucking exhausted of being made to carry my black like it is a burden.

And there is no respite.

If you are black, you know how I feel and you understand that this rant will be the only break I can catch in this ongoing torrent of violence against my melanin.

I am writing this at half-four in the morning breastfeeding my one year old and I silently cry wondering what the fuck have I done bringing my son into this shit. I look at him sleepily nursing and weep at all the shit he will get flung at him mercilessly as he grows. 

I'm crying because of the agonising decisions my husband and I are trying to make when deciding where we want to live next. Stay outside of London in a more rural town like we are where now. Where our son is the only ethnic minority in his nursery and the parents dodge us like hot doodoo during the school plays. But the state schools here are 10 times what they are in London. Go back inside London where our precious black children are being disregarded by the same education system and being buried in increasing number. Do we go back home to Ghana where everyone looks like us, but the constant rape of the land means the healthcare system is less than what it's people need. The leaders are all scrabbling for self because their greed operates out of a mindset of lack? 

Can't win.

All because of black. Black. BLACK

I'm tired yo.

I go to work, where I can count the number of black people on one hand. I swallow microaggressions daily to put food on the table, then when my stomach can't hold anymore I'm labelled the bully, the angry black woman. "Calm down you're talking too fast, I didn't mean it like that, my mind didn't get a chance to catch up with my mouth" but I should smile working alongside them with internal disgust at the knowledge of what's overflowing in their minds.

I'm only 32 and I am completely fucking tired.

Rose

Be Decisive - Intuition is Bae

I used to think I was really good at making decisions. I'd find myself at a crossroads, look around, pick a lane and be on my merry way. I’ve never felt the need or paid attention to how I’ve made my choices. Recently, I’ve been stuck at a heavy, heavy crossroads and trying to decide which yellow brick road to travel down hasn’t been as easy. When I have had to make big decisions in the past, I’ve written my list of pros and cons, used my mental crystal ball to peer into the future and see which outcome I preferred more. My intuition is my mental crystal ball and though I have wavered in my faith or it being true, it has never failed me. I’ve then proceeded to google, tweet, call, WhatsApp and ask my way out of my intuitions advice and end up flat on my back.

I didn’t realise how much the external had an influence on my decision making. From asking trusted advisors their opinion to reading amazon reviews, I didn’t realise how much I used the external to prop up my internal crystal ball. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, not at all, I’m thankful that when I’m stuck I have external options for helping me to see if I’m making the right choice. That being said, when it comes to monumental decisions that need to be made I’m stuck.

There are times when nothing external can give you the right answer. I think it’s because when we use external influences to decide what to do, and it doesn’t work out, we can place the blame of that outcome outside of ourselves. We followed someone else’s advice and it was wrong. When a decision is truly our own, that responsibility rests firmly on our own heads and that can be a bitter pill to swallow.

Going for your dreams requires more leaps of faith than we are comfortable with. Making big dreams a reality requires us to often step into unknown territory and there isn’t a trustpilot review in the world to tell us which option will land us in the emerald city. Maybe that’s why the higher you get the less information there is on how to get there….but we’ll save that topic for another day!

I say all of this to say (to myself) the decisions I make for me, affect me primarily, therefore the influence of the outcome should come from me, primarily. I shouldn’t be afraid to trust my intuition, nine times out of ten she knows something on a subconscious level that I’m not consciously aware of and she’s always working in my best interests. I say all of this to say (to you) decision making is one of the pinnacles of “adulating” when we know deep down the way to go, but we hesitate out of fear, how we will look to others, or the simple acceptance that taking this road will be the first step of many hard ones to the top.

I’ve seen that those steps, those experiences are the beginnings of wisdom, and I think we’d all love a bit more of that.

Rose
xx

Find Your Tribe - Love Them Hard!

It's instinctual for me to emotionally hold everyone at arm's length. It's the classic story, early twenties, get broken hearted and then think "Fuck the world, I don't need you." Except in my case, my broken heart wasn't because of a guy, it was my closest girlfriend that betrayed me in a way I could never imagine. She was the one I had given my all to, and she flung my all in a blender. After that, is when I decided that I didn't want to get too close to people anymore. I distinctly remember telling myself, I didn't want to ever have a best friend ever again.

Since that time it's gone from a conscious effort to not get close to people, and now it's become an unconscious habit. Moving out of London in 2016 made it even easier "Out of sight, out of mind" I told myself, but in the long run it's harmed me and not helped me. I've known for some time now, that this attitude isn't healthy (I'm working on finding a therapist), yet I don't know how to undo this mindset. I try to contact the people I would consider friends more, but I stop myself thinking that I'm hassling them. Everyone has shit to do, who has time to listen to my waffling in addition to that? Then when they call me back I just stare at my phone in shock and horror. I don't know why.

In the ideal world in my mind, I'd have a tribe of girlfriends that I was a part of, in real life I tell myself (I'm now aware that I lie to myself a lot) that everyone is already 'clique'd' up and doesn't have room for one more. It's seen as there's something wrong with you if you don't have a tight circle of friends. Meme after meme celebrating cancel culture, and making your circle smaller and smaller are funny/sad to me. I can't make my circle smaller - I don't have one! *Face palm emoji*

The easiest way for me to start working on that has been via social media. Sounds completely mental, but I think it's working.  I'm learning that even in the midst of another betrayal, that all people aren't evil monsters out to destroy me - they are people. The emotional feeling of being enveloped in comfort has been unexpected and really moving. My next challenge is to move these newly formed friendships from the social media realm to the real world realm, and to concoiously make the effort to draw closer to the existing loved ones in my life. I'm still scared, but trying to embody my word "Fearless," I'm determined to find my tribe and love them hard.

Rose
Xx

Ashamed Instead of Shameless - Why is Self Promotion so Hard?

Picture this, I need to record my next YouTube video. I know the topic and roughly what I want to say, the camera battery is full and I just need to put on a light touch of makeup to be ready. I get up from my laptop to go upstairs, start setting up, then a thought crosses my mind, I sit down again and aimlessly scroll through Twitter for the next hour. The thought I had was "If I do this video, I'm gonna have to make a trailer for it to promote it, I've already put out a blog post this week, I'm sure people are sick of seeing me, forget it." (I know there's a pattern of behaviour emerging, but writing is therapeutic and medicinal, so bear with me.) 

In 2012, Maya Washington (a.k.a Shameless Maya) set herself a challenge to shamelessly promote herself for 365 days and see what would happen. Today she has over 1 million subscribers and 250k + followers on Instagram, she has achieved more than she imagined possible. From working with Prince (RIP) on his album cover to amassing over 80milliom views on YouTube, she's done incredibly well and shows no signs of slowing down. I'm telling this  story to ask, why are we so afraid of putting ourselves out there? My friend, if you are not part of this collective, I take God beg you, let us know in the comments how to be more like you!

The more I go inside myself, trying to shake out the chaff, the more I discover how much I undervalue myself. I've always thought of myself as confident, and I believe generally most people that know me would agree. That being said, it's shocking how much I hold myself back. The quote that says we are more afraid of success than we are of failure was one that I thought of as corny. I mean come on, who is really afraid of success? The more I am working on being my best self, the more I see how true said quote is.

It's part of the reason why I set my own challenge to be fearless this year. Everything that terrifies me, I'm going for it. I could be quacking in my jeans and telling myself to stop internally, but my feet will keep moving. Cos the irony is that once I do the feared, I'll come out the other side loving it. Ain't that always the way?!?

Rose

Xx

Be Your Damn Self!

A.K.A Be really silly with a twig in the snow!

I have struggled with the concept of being myself a lot, I still do. I think it's not noticeable from the outside, maybe it is.

I'm self conscious about the way I talk, always have been. I'm loud, I couldn't hide the fact that I'm from South London if I tried. Slang flows off my tongue so easily, it's like speaking my native language and getting the accent juuust right. Madison gets called "Bruh" at least twice a day (Don't judge me, dude's really trying my patience with this climbing malarkey. Can he walk though?? Jesus be a landing mat!) Even my "work voice" has the south London twang and I have a few select words and phrases that I permit myself to use. I mean, if I get annoyed, they all think there's a shank in my pumping bag, but oh well.

I guess from the outside, I look really confident in who I am and how I sound. The thing is, I'm very aware of how the black people I aspire to be like sound. They don't sound like me. Most have managed to balance en pointe sounding like a BBC broadcaster, but allowing a hint of their postcode to show through. Others I wouldn't recognize if I were to hear their voice over the radio.

Now we could talk, colonialism, assimilation and all the rest, but most likely you're black and know this shit already. The reason I want to talk about it is because it's been another reason I've used to lie to myself, I've told myself "Rose, if you want to do this, you gotta fix the way you talk. No one will listen to you if you sound like a roadman" I've recorded whole YouTube videos and scrapped them because I've watched them back and told myself "You sound too ghetto" or "You swear too much"

Bold face LIEEE! I know it's a lie, a lie from the pit of hell! But my trusty friend, comparison is really good at making me believe nonsense. Well I saw a comparison about 20 minutes ago that made me feel a whole lot better and I wanted to bring it to OUR attention, because I know for sure that I'm not the only one dealing with this. I don't know if you know of a woman on Instagram called Raynell Stewart a.k.a @Supa_Cent founder and CEO of The Crayon Case. She is a lot of what I aspire to be like. Unapologetically black, her new Orleans accent is thick-k-k. She doesn't front for the gram and have perfect pretty insta pictures all day long. She is 100% her authentic self and her fans love her for it. She may not be your cup of tea, but I recommend visiting her page and taking a big whiff of what her brand of genuine smells like, it's delicious! By being herself, she's now a boss that can make a million dollars in 1 hour! What an achievement, she's inspiring women and men all over the world to be their best authentic selves and that's what is flying off her shelves like hotcakes.

I've told myself from this year onwards, I'm not second guessing myself in this area anymore. My word for 2019 is "Fearless" and I can't own that word if I won't even allow myself to speak freely. I have spoken this way for 30 something years and by now y'all are gonna like it or not, but to get to where I want to go I'm going to have to be a lot more confident than I am now, and with much thicker skin. Seems like a good starting point right?

Rose
xx

Done is Better Than Perfect

For those of you that have been rocking with me for a while, you know I'm good at what I do, but I lack consistency...or rather commitment.

The usual pattern of events has been to be full of vim to Blog/Instagram/YouTube and it all goes really well for a few weeks or months. Lots of engagement, positive feedback - and then in come the visions of grandeur. I look at my peers and see their perfectly curated Instagram pages, their positively perfect blog websites, and their crystal clear, well lit YouTube videos and I decide that I need to be them for you guys to have any interest in what I have to say.

I tell myself that whatever I've been creating hasn't been good enough and I simply cannot put anything else out until my stuff looks like "theirs". Forget the community I've built, the friends I've made, the people I've inspired. No now it's all rubbish because it doesn't look perfect.

Sound familiar? There are so many things in life that we are fully capable of going for, could be a promotion or new job, a new hobby, even making a new connection with another person. Instead of looking within and trusting that we are enough, we look outside of ourselves, play the comparison game and determine ourselves to be the loser before the whistle has even blown to start the game.

I read quote a few days ago that read "Done is better than perfect" and it was a revelation. It wasn't brand new information, it was more of a shoulder shake to stop wasting time. I have a gift, but I've been too afraid to use it because I'm not well versed in making it look Instagramable. Imagine....!

We can all tell there's something special about 2019, I don't want any of these magical opportunities to pass me by because I can't make me perfect. I can't cry about not winning the lottery, when I haven't purchased a ticket. You know what it is you want to achieve this year, deep down where no one else is looking. Listen my dear, done is better than perfect. Done at least puts you in the running. 2019, we must at least try, so forget the frills and just do it. We can learn how to garnish as we go along. Let's just get going!

Rose
xx